Do you look for approval from outside? I do, and I hate it. Here’s a case study: my black and white dress.
I have a black and white dress that I love. It’s got big tendricle-like swirls of black on a white background. It’s got a tunic neck and is very loose because I bought it a size too big. You can belt it but I liked it unbelted and loose. I really love it!
The first few times I wore it I got not one compliment. That was sad. But I told myself, “Who cares. Do you like it?” If so, that’s enough.
And then one day I was waiting for a train at the subway and this woman told me she loved my dress. I said thanks and felt good for a minute but then was troubled by feeling good about it. I hate being so reliant upon approval.
So, there’s no moral of the story. Just sharing and trying to be less and less of a people pleaser!
Karyl, I’m not sure it’s a terrible thing. We all were made differently for a reason. All of our personalities aren’t a mistake and there is no box or mold we should be put into. We should focus them on the building up of others. I’m sure you may have taken a personality test. I recently took one again and I’m an ENFJ. By looking at the characteristics you can see strengths and weaknesses. Have a great rest of your day!!!
That’s so sweet and affirming of you. Thanks.
Hay Karyl…..me too I look for approval sometimes without really recognizing I’m doing it. Habit I guess. I am trying to become less and less of a approval seeker and attention seeker. I am learning that the more and more I give my own self some approval the less I feel the need to get it from others. I guess it’s only human. But to me it really does not end up good. Well that’s how I see it. Have a good day. Betty
Thanks Betty. You are right about being kinder to ourselves. 🙂